I know I said when I got my diagnosis I wouldn’t turn this space into a cancer blog but please, indulge me, I need to wallow, I need to vent, I need to rant. Because my hair has started falling out!
Even with the cold cap and the Simple shampoo that leaves it frizzy and the wide toothed comb that means it never feels brushed and the once a week hair washes. Even with all the money I have lavished on it making it look beautiful in the past, and the cutting inches and inches off it to try and make it last, it’s not playing ball! It’s REALLY not playing ball!
So, indulge me whilst I wallow in the injustice of the fact I’m losing my hair!
I’ve been on hair watch since the day after my first chemo session. Even knowing that it wouldn’t happen that fast I was on watch, keeping a close eye on the amount that came out with every comb, ever wash, on my pillow at night. I’d call Jim into the bathroom post shower and he’d tell me it was less than the normal amount I usually she’d.
And then, last Sunday, the day before chemo session 2, it started. One innocent combing and at least triple the amount of hair as before came out. Maybe more. Not quite a handful, but a clump. A large clump. More than the amount that I was happy with, and it’s only got worse!
I’ve tried to be all zen about it. I knew some would fall out, of course it would, I mean, there are all these crazy drugs running through my body, but it’s gone too far now! I’ve turned to the ladies in the facebook group I’m in for reassurance. I’ve tried hair netting at night (it only tangled it more). I tried not brushing it as often (that too was a bad plan).
But today’s weekly hair wash however was the last straw in my ability to be ok with this. I could have made a new dog out of the amount of hair that just came from my head! Now with every brush I’m convinced there’ll be none left by Christmas and my measly little ponytail is getting thinner and thinner. Which for the girl with the thickest hair in the world is a terrible thing to witness. I guess the only solace is there was an abnormal amount to begin with!
So now I’m in a place where I’m wondering how long I keep going before I bite the bullet and shave it? I told myself I’d try and keep it so if I shaved after session 3 is that me failing? Giving in too late? Do I buy wigs or just wear hats and scarves? How the he’ll do I tie a head scarf? What if i have a weird shaped head? And if i buy wigs, do I buy turquoise ones or sensible ones? So many questions, so few answers until I decide what to do!
(Sorry about the terrible title. I’ve spent far too much time with my dad lately!)