Scanxiety

I’m not sleeping well right now, but I know this machine and what it’ll tell us is the reason why.

Waiting for scan results is hard. But it’s also hard to explain to people that are not in this world…… Imagine every 1/3/6 months (depending on your scan schedule – mine is 3 right now!) taking a test that ultimately determines your future, but it being a test you can’t cram for, that you can’t influence in any real way. You just have to hope the drugs are working.

And then imagine the wait for the results.

In a way, and I know this sounds crazy because my cancer has been growing for the last few scans, I’m less worried than I was when it was stable. I know I’m going to be changing treatment at some point soon. Which means if my new hormone drug, exemestane, has worked, then that’s a much better result than I’m expecting. But changing treatment means there’s one less set of drugs available ahead of me to keep me alive. And that’s a terrifying prospect!

So, if I’m slow at replying to you, or distracted when we chat, here’s the reason why. My brain has a lot to worry about right now!

I’m not sure when I’ll get my results, (COVID means my hospital have far more scans on than normal) but I’ve asked my oncologist to call me with the results rather than seeing him face to face, no point masking up and going in if I don’t need to, right?

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