The prompt for #BEDN today is date night, but date nights are impossible right now as Jim is in India so I am ignoring it and talking about our sporadically long distance relationship. He’s been in India 2 1/2 weeks already and we have another 3 weeks ahead of us apart. Whilst this might not seem like a long time, the frequency he’s away gets pretty annoying some times. Well, not annoying, more disorientating. I grew up with a dad who lived in Paris in the week and came home at weekends, and Jim’s been going to India since a few months after we met, so it’s not all alien, but it’s still not entirely normal.
The worst bit, beyond the missing him, is the getting used to it. You know how it takes a bit of time to learn to live with someone and get out of the habit of living alone? Yeah, you remember that? Well, I have to learn to live alone and then learn to live together again. We have 3, 4, 5 sometimes nearly 6 weeks apart and I get used to it being just me here. Just my mess. Just my food. Just me and Flash. Sometimes though I’ll get 2 weeks in to his trip and realise that I’ve not used a ‘big’ plate since he left, or that I’ve only had an actual conversation with Flash for 2 days sometimes.
And then when Jim comes home, once the happiness of his return has abated, I find myself getting annoyed with his mess and the football and ALL the washing up he creates. But on the plus side he does cook me some awesome meals on his return. And we have to learn to live together again.
Does anyone have any tips for living apart like this?
And then when Jim comes home, once the happiness of his return has abated, I find myself getting annoyed with his mess and the football and ALL the washing up he creates. But on the plus side he does cook me some awesome meals on his return. And we have to learn to live together again.
Does anyone have any tips for living apart like this?
The sudden mess of been together and then being apart was what always use to get at me the most and certainly the constant being together after being in an LDR for two years took a lot of getting use too, probably more than I would ever admit (and somehow never have on my blog)!
It's a tough thing to admit isn't it – how do you say to someone 'hi, yeah, so you know how I missed you, well, I kind of wish that you'd give me some more space ;)'. You did the ultimate long distance though so props to you for that.
I can totally relate to this! It's tough, I always used to have to say to myself: "be nice Emma, don't nag, you've got to make the most of him being around". I think one of the things is that you almost put extra pressure on yourselves to make the times you are together as perfect as possible. One thing that helped me was to try and embrace the times that we were apart and turn the whole thing on it's head. It's tough though!
Oh, yes, embracing the time apart is where i've got to now. I make the most of the time I have to myself. The problem is when he disrupts that and comes back 😉
I wish I had tips but I don't – any I do have are from so long ago I cannot really explain them. It sounds tricky though xx