A little lost

September 3, 2011 3 Comments

A while ago I mentioned this whole different city/house/job
thing and how it was taking some adjusting to. Even though I used to live just
outside of Sheffield, and yes, I know people here, it hasn’t, and maybe still
isn’t easy to move cities. I apologise if this is a winging winey post, but I am
hoping if I get it out of my system, it’ll help.

For one – I am not loving living with the boy’s housemate. He
has a very childlike mentality and you cant ask him to do anything, or he
actively won’t do it {i.e clean} And if you ask him to not do something, he
will purposely do it {i.e annoying noises}. As you can imagine this is uber
annoying. He hasn’t really had a relationship before and I do think maybe his
skills in human communications aren’t what they should be. {Also, having been
berated for discussing this before, I am biting my tongue here}

And two – the boy and I have very different views on what is
clean and tidy and what lives where. Football socks/shin pads/boots do not have a place in a living room. Ever. And beds should be made and curtains opened. Nuff
said.

Three – Football. All the time. Not a fan.

Four – I feel lost. I don’t really have a place here. I cant
find it. I am hoping Karey at Mackin Ink is wrong when she says it takes two
and a half years to
find yourself again
. In Leeds I had a place. I knew what to do and where to
go. I knew who to call for a post work drink.

Five – making friends at this age is tough. That sounds so
childish doesn’t it. And don’t get me wrong I have a lot of friends, but few
friends here – they seem to be all over the place now. My neighbour, Lizzie, is
lovely and always about, and I hope I haven’t offended her when I have said
this, but I cant rely on one person. There are a few people I know from before,
but we all have lives and well, you know, just making friends when you’re older
is tough. Maybe I need to take up a sport? Maybe this no friends is why I feel lost.

Six – Work. I am not sure what is expected of me sometimes. Weekends
and evenings seem fair game and I am not used to that. What I am doing is
interesting, and challenging, but it is a very different environment to my last job. There was a
lot of banter. Lots of social occasions and I knew what was expected of me. 

But I love living with the boy. {Even if he is messy} I just
wish it was just us. And maybe that I had a little bit more of a social life. And
maybe that work was more straight forwards.
Has anyone else found that moving has been hard. Even if you’ve
only moved a cities? Or am I being all melodramatic and should I just put my
big girl pants on and deal with it? 

3 Comments

  • Helen September 5, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Moving is hard, and especially when you're not going for something like university and therefore don't automatically get a ready made set of friends who are all in the same boat.

    When I moved to Bristol to be with S it was hard, as I only knew a couple of people. I'd say it did take a while to get into it (although not 2.5 years!). Going to classes and clubs definitely helped though, as I got to meet people outside of S' circle of friends and make my own mates.

    I am sure work will get easier for you as you get more into the role, and as time goes on you will meet more people and make a new social life for yourself. It's just hard because with a new life it can all be a bit overwhelming, especially at the beginning. And especially with an annoying housemate!

    Big virtual hug!

  • Keenie Beanie September 5, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    Oh, Em. I'm sorry that the move has been difficult. I went through a phase of mourning how difficult it is to make friends as an adult right around the age you did. Adding a move and an irritating housemate to the mix must be very taxing.

    The only thing I can say? I found as my adulthood moved on, that I did indeed make new friends – they are just fewer and farther between because that flash, that moment that sparks a bond that becomes a friendship, it's harder to discover as an adult with different life paradigms than those you spend most of your time with. But those moments can still be found.

    Helen's advice was spot on. It takes time. Knowing that doesn't make the adjustment period any easier, but I'm confident you will find yourself, and your place in the new life, again soon.

    I've got a big move coming up myself soon, so I expect I will be finding myself in your shoes again soon. You are not alone in this feeling.

    Hugs to you!

  • Emma September 7, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    Helen, Keanie, thank you for your kind words.
    I know that I need to give it more time, but every so often I have a bit of a break down.
    But, I am formulating a plan to get busier. whether it in fits with work is a different matter 😉

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