Of late, I’ve been having conversations about missed opportunities, and reading blog
posts about nostalgia, and journeying back through my Itunes and it’s all made me think, think and
then sit up and go ‘you know what, I AM old’. And I am not sure I like it.
horrible feeling that life has sort of passed me by a little bit. Not in the
‘I’ve not lived’ way** but more in a ‘I’ve not lived enough and I think I am too old to do it now’
it’s hitting me a little late. Or maybe it’s the friends I keep, putting these
thoughts in my head, even if they don’t mean to and it’s just through their
actions. Maybe it’s the fact they are all slowly but surely moving in different
directions and I am not sure which way to go – I know I am too old*** to stay up
raving all night, but I am not ready to stop trying every so often. I am definitely
not ready for kids, but I am not terrified of them like I used to be. I am
doing a proper job, but sometimes I feel like I’ll get found out for just being
a kid! Maybe it’s the fact that this year we have one or two free weekend’s between
now and July and I don’t like that my life is getting all planned out? Whatever it is, it’s making me listen to 90’s brit pop and wish I had thought through my 20’s a little bit better.
seaside and learn to surf and running away to the other side of the world with no consequences.
** Yes, I ran away to the south of France to sail, and had winters’ mountains
to snowboard, and then there was that summer in Miami – but I want more of them.
5am I need a nap!