5 years ago today I got diagnosed with cancer.
5 years of being tethered to the hospital with appointments every 3 weeks.
5 years of pumping my body full of poisons.
5 years of side effects.
5 years of watching the people in my world grow their lives and jobs and families, knowing that these things are something I’ll never be able to accomplish.
5 years of destroying the lives of my loved ones with one single word they never wanted to hear.
5 years of trying to make the best of a really shitty situation.
And 3.5 years of putting a brave face on the fact I am living with and dying of cancer.
I’m not sure how I feel about cancerversaries – it’s definitely not a day to be celebrated. But it feels wrong to not acknowledge a day that changed my life completely. So, I baked for my team. Because ironically today I am back in the hospital for my 80-something-th treatment!
You write so beautifully and bravely with such a clear-eyed honesty. It is really something.